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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Tell
Baskets
Two
Easter
Polish
Santa
Corner
Corners
Humor
Clauses
Funny
Basket
More quotes by Henny Youngman
There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
