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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Santa
Corner
Corners
Humor
Clauses
Funny
Basket
Tell
Baskets
Two
Easter
Polish
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
