Quote

Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Humor
Clauses
Funny
Basket
Tell
Baskets
Two
Easter
Polish
Santa
Corner
Corners

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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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If I had blood, I'd blush.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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