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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Men
Stadium
Lawns
Stadiums
Yankees
Diamond
Cutter
Humor
Cutters
Funny
Yankee
Jobs
Lawn
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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