Quote

A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Didn
Parks
Men
Cars
Jewish
Policeman
Car
Curb
Humor
Pulls
Says
Policemen
Asks
Cop
Funny
Park

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman