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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Italian
Bombs
Fell
Humor
Funny
Slid
Italy
Bomb
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
Henny Youngman
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
Henny Youngman
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
Henny Youngman
I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
