Quote

A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Italian
Bombs
Fell
Humor
Funny
Slid
Italy
Bomb

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
Henny Youngman