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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Face
Faces
Funny
Ever
Men
Introduction
Mets
Humor
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
Henny Youngman
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
Henny Youngman
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
Henny Youngman
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
Henny Youngman
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman