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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Mets
Humor
Face
Faces
Funny
Ever
Men
Introduction

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
Henny Youngman
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
Henny Youngman
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henny Youngman