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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Pet
Shops
Insult
Humor
Funny
Haircut
Haircuts
Shop
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
Henny Youngman
When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
Henny Youngman
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
Henny Youngman
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
Henny Youngman
Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
Henny Youngman
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
Henny Youngman
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
