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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Pet
Shops
Insult
Humor
Funny
Haircut
Haircuts
Shop
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
Henny Youngman
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
Henny Youngman
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
Henny Youngman
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
If I had blood, I'd blush.
Henny Youngman
I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
Henny Youngman
I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
Henny Youngman
The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
Henny Youngman
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henny Youngman
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
Henny Youngman
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
Henny Youngman
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
