Quote

Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Humor
Funny
Haircut
Haircuts
Shop
Pet
Shops
Insult

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
Image
I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
Henny Youngman
Image
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
Image
A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
Henny Youngman
Image
Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
Image
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
Image
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
Image
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
Image
I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
Henny Youngman
Image
The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
Henny Youngman
Image
There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
Henny Youngman
Image
Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
Image
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
Image
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
Image
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
Image
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
Image
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman
Image
Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
Henny Youngman