Quote

The more I think of you, the less I think of you.

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Insult
Humor
Less
Funny
Think
Thinking
Rude

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
Image
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henny Youngman
Image
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
Image
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
Image
I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
Henny Youngman
Image
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
Image
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
Image
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
Image
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
Image
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henny Youngman
Image
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
Image
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
Henny Youngman
Image
On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
Henny Youngman
Image
I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
Henny Youngman
Image
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
Image
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
Image
I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
Henny Youngman
Image
I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
Henny Youngman
Image
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
Henny Youngman
Image
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman