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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Window
Room
Humor
Rooms
Small
Funny
Hotel
Broke
Keys
More quotes by Henny Youngman
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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