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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Mice
Hotel
Room
Humor
Rooms
Small
Funny

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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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