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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Hotel
Room
Humor
Rooms
Small
Funny
Mice

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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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