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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Humor
Inconvenient
Rooms
Bath
Building
Baths
Funny
Buildings
Two
Hotel
Littles
Separate
Little
Lovely
Room
More quotes by Henny Youngman
My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
Henny Youngman
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
Henny Youngman
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
Henny Youngman
What is a home without children? Quiet.
Henny Youngman
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
Henny Youngman
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
Henny Youngman
The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
Henny Youngman
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
