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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Closet
Closets
Nails
Hotel
Lovely
Humor
Funny
Nail

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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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