Quote

The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.

Henny Youngman

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TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Nail
Closet
Closets
Nails
Hotel
Lovely
Humor
Funny

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
Henny Youngman