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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Another
Horse
Mind
Window
Way
Humor
Asks
Betting
Race
Post
Funny
Racing
Comes
Posts
Left
Stands

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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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