Quote

I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Saying
Missed
Funny
Dirt
Bigs
Killed
Another
Ball
Swung
Balls
Chunk
Golf
Climbed
Humor
Chunks
Playing
Ants

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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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