Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Humor
Chunks
Playing
Ants
Saying
Missed
Funny
Dirt
Bigs
Killed
Another
Ball
Swung
Balls
Chunk
Golf
Climbed
More quotes by Henny Youngman
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
Henny Youngman
I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
Henny Youngman
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman
I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
Henny Youngman
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
Henny Youngman
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
Henny Youngman
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
Henny Youngman
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman