Quote

Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Drunk
Humor
Dial
Goes
Meter
Says
Parking
Funny
Quarter
Lost
Quarters
Another
Pounds
Puts

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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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