Quote

Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Like
Turns
Clean
Funny
Gave
Dropped
Around
Walking
Nurse
Look
Office
Doctor
Looks
Health
Bill
Right
Humor
Bills
Make
Dead
Doctors
Men
Turn
Leaving

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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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