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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Doctors
Ears
Answer
Humor
Answers
Funny
Ringing
Doctor
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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