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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Ringing
Doctor
Doctors
Ears
Answer
Humor
Answers
Funny
More quotes by Henny Youngman
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
Henny Youngman
A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
Henny Youngman
The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
Henny Youngman
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
