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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Humor
Answers
Funny
Ringing
Doctor
Doctors
Ears
Answer
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
Henny Youngman
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henny Youngman
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
Henny Youngman
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
Henny Youngman
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
Henny Youngman
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
Henny Youngman
I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
Henny Youngman
What is a home without children? Quiet.
Henny Youngman
