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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Doctor
Doctors
Ears
Answer
Humor
Answers
Funny
Ringing
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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