Quote

Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Answers
Funny
Ringing
Doctor
Doctors
Ears
Answer
Humor

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman