Quote

Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Doe
Usual
Littles
Doctor
Little
Doctors
Way
Dinner
Men
Wine
Humor
Says
Funny
Pregnant

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
Henny Youngman
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
Henny Youngman
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
Henny Youngman
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
Henny Youngman
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henny Youngman
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
Henny Youngman
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
Henny Youngman
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
Henny Youngman