Quote

Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Says
Funny
Pregnant
Doe
Usual
Littles
Doctor
Little
Doctors
Way
Dinner
Men
Wine
Humor

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
Henny Youngman
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
Henny Youngman
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
Henny Youngman
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
Henny Youngman
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman