Quote

Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Men
Wine
Humor
Says
Funny
Pregnant
Doe
Usual
Littles
Doctor
Little
Doctors
Way
Dinner

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
Henny Youngman
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
Henny Youngman
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henny Youngman
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
Henny Youngman
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
Henny Youngman
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
Henny Youngman
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
Henny Youngman
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
Henny Youngman
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
Henny Youngman
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman