Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Stand
Stethoscope
Asks
Puzzles
Funny
Chest
Men
Chests
Doctor
Doctors
Humor
Says
More quotes by Henny Youngman
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
Henny Youngman
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
Henny Youngman
I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
Henny Youngman
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
Henny Youngman
I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
Henny Youngman
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
Henny Youngman
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
Henny Youngman
I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
Henny Youngman
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
Henny Youngman
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
Henny Youngman
I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
Henny Youngman
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
Henny Youngman
If I had blood, I'd blush.
Henny Youngman
