Quote

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Doctor
Doctors
Humor
Says
Stand
Stethoscope
Asks
Puzzles
Funny
Chest
Men
Chests

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
Henny Youngman
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
Henny Youngman
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
Henny Youngman
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
Henny Youngman
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
Henny Youngman
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
Henny Youngman
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
Henny Youngman