Quote

A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Humor
Says
Stand
Stethoscope
Asks
Puzzles
Funny
Chest
Men
Chests
Doctor
Doctors

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If I had blood, I'd blush.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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