Quote

The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Doctor
Doctors
Humor
Says
Funny
Tell
Live

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman