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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Doctors
Humor
Saying
Cohen
Called
Arthritis
Came
Answered
Funny
Check
Back
Checks
Doctor
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
Henny Youngman
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman
I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman
