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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Humor
Saying
Cohen
Called
Arthritis
Came
Answered
Funny
Check
Back
Checks
Doctor
Doctors
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
Henny Youngman
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henny Youngman
Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
Henny Youngman
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
Henny Youngman
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
Henny Youngman
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henny Youngman
