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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Okay
Psychiatrists
Friends
Psychiatrist
People
Mentally
Check
Checks
Ill
Stupidity
God

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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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