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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
People
Mentally
Check
Checks
Ill
Stupidity
God
Okay
Psychiatrists
Friends
Psychiatrist

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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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