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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Checks
Ill
Stupidity
God
Okay
Psychiatrists
Friends
Psychiatrist
People
Mentally
Check
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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