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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Okay
Psychiatrists
Friends
Psychiatrist
People
Mentally
Check
Checks
Ill
Stupidity
God
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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