Quote

I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Tomorrow
Went
Dies
Found
Money
Reviewed
Ever
Savings
Need
Bank
Needs
Saving

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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