Quote

I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Found
Money
Reviewed
Ever
Savings
Need
Bank
Needs
Saving
Tomorrow
Went
Dies

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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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