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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Found
Money
Reviewed
Ever
Savings
Need
Bank
Needs
Saving
Tomorrow
Went
Dies
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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