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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Need
Bank
Needs
Saving
Tomorrow
Went
Dies
Found
Money
Reviewed
Ever
Savings
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
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