Quote

I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Needs
Saving
Tomorrow
Went
Dies
Found
Money
Reviewed
Ever
Savings
Need
Bank

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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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