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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Move
Forget
Moving
Way

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman