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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Forget
Moving
Way
Move

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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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