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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Forget
Moving
Way
Move

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
Henny Youngman