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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Move
Forget
Moving
Way

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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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