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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Move
Forget
Moving
Way

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
Henny Youngman
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
Henny Youngman
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
Henny Youngman
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
Henny Youngman
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman