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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Move
Forget
Moving
Way
More quotes by Henny Youngman
The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
Henny Youngman
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
Henny Youngman
I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
Henny Youngman
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
Henny Youngman
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
Henny Youngman
I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
Henny Youngman
I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
Henny Youngman
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
Henny Youngman
A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
Henny Youngman
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman