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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Move
Forget
Moving
Way

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
Henny Youngman
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
Henny Youngman
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
Henny Youngman
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
Henny Youngman
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
Henny Youngman
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
Henny Youngman
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
Henny Youngman
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman