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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Move
Forget
Moving
Way

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
Henny Youngman
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
Henny Youngman
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
Henny Youngman
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
Henny Youngman
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman