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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Others
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More quotes by Henny Youngman

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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman