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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Funny
Escalators
Anything
Marked
Years
Bought
Humor
Wife
Year
Lasts
Last
Escalator
More quotes by Henny Youngman
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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