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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Funny
Escalators
Anything
Marked
Years
Bought
Humor
Wife
Year
Lasts
Last
Escalator

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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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