Quote

I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Lent
Resolutions
Resolution
Year
Religion
Giving
Years

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
Image
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
Image
He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
Henny Youngman
Image
The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
Henny Youngman
Image
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
Image
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
Image
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henny Youngman
Image
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
Image
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
Image
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
Image
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
Image
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
Image
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
Image
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
Image
A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
Henny Youngman
Image
Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
Image
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
Image
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henny Youngman
Image
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
Henny Youngman