Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Traffic
Thinks
Communication
Anybody
Talk
Never
Argued
Thinking
Cop
Cheap
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
Henny Youngman
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
Henny Youngman
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
Henny Youngman
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henny Youngman
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
Henny Youngman
You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
Henny Youngman
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
Henny Youngman
A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
Henny Youngman
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
Henny Youngman
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
