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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Communication
Anybody
Talk
Never
Argued
Thinking
Cop
Cheap
Traffic
Thinks
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
Henny Youngman
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
Henny Youngman
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
Henny Youngman
A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman
I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
Henny Youngman
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
Henny Youngman
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
