Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Never
Argued
Thinking
Cop
Cheap
Traffic
Thinks
Communication
Anybody
Talk
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
Henny Youngman
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
Henny Youngman
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
Henny Youngman
My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
Henny Youngman
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
What is a home without children? Quiet.
Henny Youngman
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
Henny Youngman
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
Henny Youngman
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
Henny Youngman
A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
Henny Youngman
