Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Take
Doctors
Patient
Window
Doctor
Clothes
Stick
Humor
Mad
Says
Neighbor
Asks
Sticks
Funny
Tongue
More quotes by Henny Youngman
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
Henny Youngman
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
Henny Youngman
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
Henny Youngman
Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
Henny Youngman
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
Henny Youngman
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
Henny Youngman
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henny Youngman
I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
Henny Youngman
I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
Henny Youngman
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
