Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Sticks
Asks
Tongue
Funny
Doctors
Take
Patient
Window
Doctor
Clothes
Stick
Mad
Humor
Neighbor
Says
More quotes by Henny Youngman
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
Henny Youngman
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henny Youngman
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
Henny Youngman
Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
Henny Youngman
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
Henny Youngman
I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
Henny Youngman
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
Henny Youngman
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
Henny Youngman
A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
Henny Youngman