Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Asks
Sticks
Funny
Tongue
Take
Doctors
Patient
Window
Doctor
Clothes
Stick
Humor
Mad
Says
Neighbor
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henny Youngman
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
Henny Youngman
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
Henny Youngman
Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
Henny Youngman
I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
Henny Youngman
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
Henny Youngman
Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Henny Youngman
My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
Henny Youngman
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
Henny Youngman
I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman