Quote

The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Says
Neighbor
Asks
Sticks
Funny
Tongue
Take
Doctors
Patient
Window
Doctor
Clothes
Stick
Humor
Mad

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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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