Quote

The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Patient
Window
Doctor
Clothes
Stick
Humor
Mad
Says
Neighbor
Asks
Sticks
Funny
Tongue
Take
Doctors

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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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If I had blood, I'd blush.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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