Quote

The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Humor
Mad
Says
Neighbor
Asks
Sticks
Funny
Tongue
Take
Doctors
Patient
Window
Doctor
Clothes
Stick

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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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