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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Watches
Watch
Television
Funny
Never
Noticed
Families

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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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